Things I’ve learned in the past year:
|It’s okay, to not be okay|
|It’s okay, to cut toxic people out of your life|
|It’s okay, to be happy again|
|It’s okay, to have bad days|
|It’s okay, to go wild with your friends|
|It’s okay, to fail|
|It’s okay, to try again|
|It’s okay, if you don’t like yourself sometimes|
|It’s okay, love yourself|
|It’s okay, to put yourself first|
|It’s okay, to need help|
|It’s okay, to feel pain|
|It’s okay, to be human|
But the two main things I learned this year were:
You are enough!
You are so worth loving!
This past year has been a roller coaster for me, sometimes I feel like I’m failing as mom, a friend, a woman, and a person. I’ve struggled with being depressed and not feeling like I’m enough. I’ve cried myself to sleep many nights… waking up exhausted but putting on my best fake smile, and showing up to work like nothing is wrong and going through my day the same way. However, that charade can only last so long before you have to face the truth. Part of the problems is I am an Enneagram Type 1: The Reformer. My basic desire is to be good, have integrity and to be balanced. I struggle with balance so bad, which then makes me super self critical on myself. This solves nothing, except for me allowing to beat myself up in every negative way possible, which then triggers my sadness and depression. I’ve learned to reach out and talk when I needed to. I learned it’s okay to be human. Without sadness, we can’t fully appreciate happiness. Without pain, we can’t fully appreciate joy. Without being broken, we can’t fully appreciate being whole. I’ve learned it’s okay to not always be okay, but when those moments happen you have to reach out to someone, someone that isn’t afraid to walk that walk with you and help you.